Technology is quickly gaining a hold on the dating marketplace. Of course, couples do still meet in the usual places and by the usual means. But more and more, singles are signing up on dating apps to survey the field and have themselves surveyed by others.
And there’s a lot to be said in favor of this method of hooking up:
- It’s efficient – people can access the apps anytime and see who might be looking at them.
- It lets people meet up in a generally safe space and get to know each other a bit before they actually meet for an in-person date.
- It’s affordable when compared to live dating and spending money on dates that don’t work out.
- Many apps offer lots of features that operate like a mini social media platform – users can post comments, questions, and engage in discussions of all sorts.
- Users can provide more information about themselves through action photos and videos that show more than just words.
- Apps provide geo-location so that users can find dates locally or while traveling.
With all of these benefits, it’s not surprising that the use of dating apps keeps growing, even despite the fact that the Covid crisis (which resulted in a huge increase) has largely subsided.
Are You Getting Good Results?
If you have been disappointed in the number of likes and matches you are getting on your dating apps, there may be some good reasons why.
Your Visuals Need an Upgrade
Think about it. The first things you look at when you scroll through potentials or are presented with a match are the photos. So, take a good long look at the photos you have shared. And ask friends or family members whom you can trust what they think. You want honest opinions.
Here are a few other things to consider:
- Include a headshot: It’s good to have, even though that’s a bit “formal” for a dating app. Still, if you have one that flatters you, use it. One important thing – be certain you look straight into the camera when it is taken. Eye contact, even via a photo, is important and does make an impression.
- Add action photos: These show you are engaged in some of your interests or hobbies and provide more interest. Do you play tennis? A shot of you on the court would be great! And it might just show off a bit more of your body too. Do you volunteer at an animal shelter? Post a video of you interacting with one or two of the cutest dogs! Or, if you have a great vacation shot from a cool destination, that adds interest too. Anyways, you get the idea: with more action photos, you’ll become a more interesting person.
- Watch your clothes: If you dress for the occasion only, that doesn’t mean you have to look sloppy or unkempt in a photo. And the same goes for the hair on your head and face (if you are a male). Make sure you look like you take care of your physical appearance. Also, you can add your photo with a group of friends at an event, if they compliment your look.
Review Your Profile Text
The next thing of importance is your written profile. Again, make sure you appear interesting – as a person someone will want to know more about. In particular, your profile text should include a headline, a short “about me” section, and a summary of what you are looking for in a date:
- The headline: You need to say something about yourself quickly but in a way that really captures attention. You can be funny; you can be inspirational; you can even use a quote. But above all, you must engage the reader. Make the headline say something about you, like “I confess – I eat peanut butter every day.” This isn’t an earth-shaker, but many will see it as funny and creative.
- Short intro: Tell a bit about yourself: focus on quality, not quantity. To come across as interesting and genuine, you might mention what you do for work and during your spare time. If you are into hiking/camping, you don’t want a match who is only interested in indoor activities. Here is a good example: “I moved to Tampa after college for a job and have never considered living anywhere else. And because I’ve always loved numbers, being an accountant was a natural career choice. Most of my hobbies and interests revolve around the water – boating, fishing, and diving. My lifestyle is pretty casual, and I love to entertain that way. My dog has to approve of anyone I bring around, so I hope you have the right vibe.” Enough said.
- Your Preferences: Honestly state what you are looking for on a date. If you aren’t honest, you’ll end up with matches that won’t go anywhere. For the accountant above, the preferences will be pretty obvious – someone who likes water sports. But he may also want someone who enjoys meeting new people and socializing.
For more examples of compelling intros, check out some online dating sites like the Hily app. Here, users are “walked through” their intros by answering key questions provided by the site. You’ll get ideas of what and how you can craft your own.
Create a Catchy Username
Finally, you’ll need to create a catchy username or at least one that says something about you. This, too, should reveal something about yourself.
You may have had some crazy usernames on a few gaming accounts when you were younger – juicygirl12, wellhung93, etc. But now, it’s time for adulting. Think of nouns and adjectives that describe something big in your life or something funny – soccersally78, dogloversam94, peanutbutterlover64, etc. That sounds much better.
Important note: Be security conscious and don’t provide any revealing info. Never use the same name you use for bank accounts or your birth date as numbers. Also, never use offensive, racist, or political comments in your username. And don’t be arrogant – studmuffin45 is a big No-No.
There’s Always a Room for Improvement
Dating profiles are fluid, and you can change yours at any time. If what you have isn’t working, do some research. Study the ones that you find funny, engaging, or inspirational, and see how you can use those as models to change yours. Ask your friends to be critical, tell you the truth, and make suggestions.
And be careful. It’s easy to want to come across as a great date, but never exaggerate, lie, or appear to be arrogant. The truth will ultimately come out if you do get dates based on these things.
And most importantly, relax! You’ve joined a dating app or two. Getting the “lay of the land” is a process, and you will learn as you go. If you stay active and keep at it, the matches will eventually flow by themselves. Just be true to yourself, and everything will work out!